Thanksgiving as a Jewish Holiday

Tonight my Uncle, as brilliant and nutty as only he can be, informed our family (who at best, can remember the prayers for the wine and the bread, and are token High Holiday Jews) that Thanksgiving is actually a take-off on Hannukah. Of course, I was like, no way. You must be thinking of Sukkot, which is a harvest holiday. No, this was also false. Shavout is actually the true harvest holiday and Sukkot actually stems from some other misfortunate time in the Jewish history of persecution when our ancestors didn't have time to build houses, on the lam, so just created lean-to shacks in which to live while they fled some other terror. At this point my head began to whirl as everything I ever learned in Hebrew School (between flooding the toilets in the girls bathroom by stuffing paper towels in them til they stopped up, and doing other small acts of vandalism and terror of my own brand as the faithful rebel I was) spun around in my mixed up mind and spilled out between my ears. I sputtered some nonesense and of course, as any good 21st century civilian would, ran to the safety net of Google to fact check this gibberish.
Well, as it turned out, in a funny way we're both right.
I quote: "In their original form, Hannukah and Purim, like the American holiday of Thanksgiving, are celebrations of thanks and honor to God for His intervention and blessings. The way some Americans celebrate Thanksgiving is far removed from the original intenet, but that does not alter the real meaning and significance of the day."
Now, another internet source had this to say about the correlation between Sukkot and Thanksgiving. "The Pilgrims were deeply religious people. When they were trying to find a way to express their thanks for their survival and for the harvest, they looked to the Bible for an appropriate way of celebrating and found Sukkot....The Sukkot explanation of Thanksgiving fits better with the meticulous research of Mayflower historian Caleb Johnson, who believes that the original Thanksgiving was a harvest festival (as is Sukkot) that it was observed in October (as Sukkot usually is) and the the Pilgrims would not have celebrated a holiday that was not in the Bible."
So here's to whatever holiday inspired the now completely obscene ritual that is Thanksgiving, far removed from any of these intentions. We eat until we feel sick, then we clear the table for dessert. What a lovely American way to express our thanks for the wonders of life!